Super Teachers

Dear Connor,

You told me today, "My teachers have superpowers to make the whole day fun." That they do!

Love,
Mom

Feeling Blue

Dear Connor,

Today was not your best day. First of all, you woke up with nine mosquito bites all over your face and neck. In December. (It's been that warm.) Second of all, when we were unpacking Christmas ornaments to put on the tree, we discovered that your personalized snowman ornament had broken. When you saw it, you said, "Aww, Sadness is pushing my button right now." (A reference to the movie Inside Out). Sorry, bud.

Love,
Mom

Pick-Up Mix-Up

Dear Connor,

This afternoon, I left the house around 1:50pm to walk to your school and pick you up. I called Uncle Tony and chatted with him on the way. I arrived at the school and wondered why it was so deserted--where were all the other parents and nannies who were usually milling about in front of the building right before dismissal? Was I early? Wait, oh my god, yes, yes I was early--for your sister's 2:45pm dismissal. While talking to Uncle Tony, I had absentmindedly walked to MuiMui's school instead of yours!

Fortunately, your schools are less than five minutes away from each other so once I realized my error, I was able to run over to your school and still get there before your class filed out onto the playground. Ugh, mommy brain!

Love,
Mom

Boxing Day

Dear Connor,

How do I explain the "sport" of boxing to you when I am always telling you how wrong it is to hit people??

Love,
Mom

Math Man

Dear Connor,

You brought home algebra homework today. Algebra! In kindergarten! I didn't learn algebra until I was in middle school!

I'm surprised but it's cool, especially since math has become your best subject. Your teachers told me you're very good at it and I can see that at home, too, when I help you with your homework. You pick up new math concepts very quickly and even though you only had two pages of math homework tonight, you were enjoying it so much that you asked if you could work ahead and do your math homework for the rest of the week. Definitely!

Love,
Mom

The Tale of Two Connors

Dear Connor,

This morning, I was trying to make an appointment with a pediatric urologist for you (sadly, you are still consistently wetting the bed at night) and there was some confusion. I gave the receptionist your information (name, birth date, insurance) and she kept insisting that we have Oxford health insurance when we don't. She said you were in the system as having Oxford and I said that was impossible because you've never been covered by Oxford and you couldn't be in the system because I had never called the urologist before. Eventually, we discovered that there is another Connor Chan in the system with the exact same birthday as you! Wha?? I wonder where he was born, what he looks like, what kind of kid he is. How cool if the two of you met someday!

Love,
Mom

Best Mama Ever

Dear Connor,

Today, you ran over to me out of the blue, hugged me and told me, "I want to give you a hug because you're the best mama ever." Well, that's the best thing to say to a mama ever :)

Love,
Mom

101 Babies

Dear Connor,

We were playing with DiDi this morning and I said, "I want Sawyer to be my baby forever." You said to me matter-of-factly, "Do you know how you can have babies forever? Have 101 babies." So wise you are.

Love,
Mom

Going Green

Dear Connor,

We were talking about superheroes tonight and you brought up Green Lantern. I never told you about him so I asked you, "How did you know about Green Lantern?" You replied, "My brain told me." Well, that makes sense.

Love,
Mom

Hop To It

Dear Connor,

At bedtime tonight, you read the entire Hop on Pop book to JieJie and me all by yourself. You are amazing!

Love,
Mom

Sugar Rush

Dear Connor,

As we were getting ready to go trick-or-treating this afternoon, you told me, "I want to get so much Halloween candy, I never run out of Halloween candy!" Ha, you and every other kid!

Love,
Mom

School Lockdown

Dear Connor,

When I was in school, fire drills were the norm. But when you are older, you will remember fire drills along with something a bit scarier: lockdown drills. There was no such thing as lockdown drills, at least in my schools, when I was a kid, but there weren't deadly mass shootings every week, either, so they are sadly the new normal. You had your first lockdown drill at school today and listening to you describe it broke my heart. How your teachers quieted everyone down, how they locked the classroom door and turned off the lights, how you all had to huddle in the back of the classroom and stay silent because a bad guy was coming--just thinking about you in such a vulnerable position, even if it was just for practice, put a lump in my throat and the strongest of desires in my heart that your lockdown drills will always only ever be drills.

Love,
Mom

Dad the Builder

Dear Connor,

You said to me today, "Daddy's like Bob the Builder. He can fix anything." Random but relatively true.

Love,
Mom

Forgotten Studies

Dear Connor,

When I ask you what you learned in school, you almost always respond with, "I forget." When I ask MuiMui what she learned in school, she shrugs her shoulder. So glad you're both learning such memorable lessons.

Love,
Mom

Super Reader

Dear Connor,

I have been reading to you since you were born and now, seemingly overnight, you can read to me. You are quite good at reading your beginner books and it's really quite magical to watch as you look at the words on the page, process them and then sound them out slowly. I'm so proud of your awesome reading skills!

Love,
Mom

Buy Buy Baby

Dear Connor,

You told me today, "I love my baby brother so much. Thank you for buying him!"

Love,
Mom

School Fatigue

Dear Connor,

When I told you to get ready for school this morning, you asked me, "Can I go tomorrow and take a break today?" Ha, no. If you're tired of school already, it's going to be a looooong year.

Love,
Mom

First Homework

Dear Connor,

Today's milestone: Your very first homework assignment!

By the way, I spent more than $100 on pencils, erasers and other school supplies and sent them in with you on the first day of school but didn't remember to keep any pencils and erasers at home for you to do your homework with. After several minutes of searching through boxes and wondering if it would look bad if you did your homework in crayon, I found two pencils in a goody bag you got at a friend's birthday party, whew!

Love,
Mom

Kindergarten, Here I Come

Dear Connor,

Hello, kindergarten!

Love,
Mom

You're Five Years Old!

Dear Connor,

Two weeks ago, you, MuiMui, Uncle Tony and I went out to dinner at a nearby Greek restaurant. When the four of us sat down at a table, the waiter automatically took away MuiMui's glass cup of water and replaced it with a plastic one with a lid. However, he let you keep your glass cup. No more plastic cups at restaurants--you are officially a big kid! :-)

I can't believe that you are 5 years old. Or that you are starting kindergarten in two days. And that I've already been a mom for half a decade! I still remember the exact moment I found out that I was pregnant with you, when you were just a microscopic speck in my belly. And now you are this 4-foot-tall walking, talking person who embodies so many wonderful qualities. You are incredibly playful and love to laugh. You are curious and inquisitive about everything and instead of taking things at face value, you constantly question why they are the way they are. You are helpful and often ask me if you can assist me with tasks like folding laundry and putting away groceries.

You are funny and always crack me up with the things you say. When you heard two women on the street speaking Mandarin, you asked me, "What English are they speaking?" I told you that the language they were speaking was Mandarin and you replied, "Oh. I speak New York." A few days ago, you said to me, "My butt itches. Can you scratch it?" Haha! But no.

You are so sweet. The other day, you said to me, "I love my baby brother so much. He will be in my heart forever." You are compassionate and thoughtful toward others. When DiDi is crying in his crib, you run over to him and try to soothe him. When PoiPoi and I got into a bad argument a couple weeks ago and I started crying, you came over to me and asked me, "Do you need a hug?" This morning, Sawyer was wearing a jumper that had little open gaps between the buttons. You stuffed a small toy blanket from one of your Lego Duplo sets into one of the gaps and told me, "I fixed DiDi's shirt."

Happy birthday, big guy! I love you now and forever.

Love,
Mom

Party On

Dear Connor,

When I was a kid and GongGong and PoiPoi threw birthday parties for me, they just tied a few balloons to the fence in our backyard, set out chips and soda, bought a birthday cake from Giant Eagle and invited the neighborhood kids over the week of--or sometimes even the day of--the party. I vaguely remember a game of Pin the Tail on the Donkey one year. Overall, my birthday parties were simple affairs.

Now I am throwing birthday parties for my own kids and they are definitely not so casual. The popular birthday party venues book up months in advance, so I have to start thinking about where to have your September party in May and secure a location. I like to have a theme and choose whatever character or show you're currently into (this year, it was Blaze and the Monster Machines). Then I find invitations, decorations and favors that are related to the theme and bake and design a related cake (for the first time, though, I cheated and ordered your Blaze birthday cake this year since we just moved into our new house and are in the midst of an cleaning and unpacking tornado). There are a ton of things to keep track of for the party and it's a lot of work.

And your birthday party today was that much more stressful because it was at an amusement park inside of a really popular city park near the site of the US Open during a holiday weekend, meaning parking was a NIGHTMARE. We arrived half an hour early to set up and 30 minutes later, we were still circling the jam-packed parking lot and adjacent blocks looking for a spot. We couldn't find anywhere to park, PoiPoi and Uncle Tony in their car couldn't find anywhere to park . . . and where were our 30+ guests going to find anywhere to park?! Miraculously, we did eventually get a spot, as did almost all of our guests (unfortunately, PoiPoi and Uncle Tony and Aunt Irene and your cousins Madison and Zoey couldn't find a spot and had to admit defeat and go home), so we were able to make it to your own party, albeit a little late. The party organizers were actually kind enough to extend your party by an extra half an hour for free--and you and your friends made the most of it! You all had so much fun on the rides and after we'd had pizza and cake and we were walking back to the car, you sighed contently and said, "That was the best." And that single sentiment is what makes all of the work, sweat and time I put into your birthday parties completely worth it.

Love,
Mom

Moving Out

Dear Connor,

We just moved into our brand new house but I told you that you are eventually going to move out when you get older. You disagreed and told me, "I'm going to live here forever." Ha, not if Daddy has anything to say about that!

Love,
Mom

Show and Tell

Dear Connor,

Your camp counselor told me that you pulled down your shorts right in the classroom today. Obviously, I was horrified and asked you why you did that. You replied that you had to show your friend Jack that you were wearing underwear and not a diaper. Well, uh, sure.

Love,
Mom

Chocolate Party

Dear Connor,

You still have a serious love affair with chocolate so you can imagine how excited you were when we went to your friend Owen's make-your-own-chocolate birthday party today! The party took place in a candy store and you were as happy as, well, a kid in a candy store! When we arrived, a woman gave you a small cube of chocolate. Then you won candy during a trivia game. After the game, all of the kids helped pour chocolate into molds they'd each picked out (you picked a truck). While the chocolate molds were hardening in the freezer, you all were given empty boxes and told to fill them up with candy from the store (you filled yours to the brim with hard candy and also stuffed in about eight lollipops, so you couldn't even close the top of the box!), Then you enjoyed pretzel sticks and marshmallows you'd dipped in the chocolate fountain. After that, you decorated your chocolate truck with colored icing.

Was that the end of the party? Nope! After a brief pause from the sugar rush to have pizza, all of the kids were each given a cookie that they put through the chocolate enrober and then of course ate. Am I done yet? Nope! It's not a birthday without cake and Owen had a giant chocolate one--which you actually refused! When they woman gave you a slice of cake, you didn't even touch it and told me that you were full. You know there's been too much chocolate when even Connor doesn't want anymore!

Love,
Mom

Inverse Proportions

Dear Connor,

Why is it that the smaller your injury, the harder and louder you cry? You've had some pretty bad injuries over the years that you've barely batted an eye at but then you'll get the teeniest, tiniest little scrape on your finger--like you did today--and start screaming and wailing as if you cut your finger off. Huh?

Love,
Mom

Mailed It!

Dear Connor,

I recently told you what the expression "Nailed it!" means but you seem to have misheard me because when you jumped off of a low wall on the way to camp this morning and landed perfectly, you shouted loudly, "Mailed it!" Haha!

Love,
Mom

Fancy Clothes

Dear Connor,

My at-home wardrobe, like most people's at-home wardrobes, consists mainly of comfy clothes like loose tank tops and cotton shorts. I am by no means a slob--sometimes the tank tops and shorts are even color-coordinated!--but you seriously made me rethink the clothes I wear around the house when I wore my denim shorts while I was at home today and you called them my "fancy clothes." Yeesh.

Love,
Mom

Street Smarts

Dear Connor,

We had this conversation when I was taking you to camp this morning:

You: Why are there lines on the street?
Me: They tell you where to walk when you cross the street. That's why it's called the crosswalk.
You: You're so smart, Mommy. [brief pause] I'm smarter than you, though.

Yeah you are!

Love,
Mom

Transgender Issues

Dear Connor,

One of the things that I like about you is that you're not a macho boy. You don't shudder at "girl things" because I have taught you that there is no such thing as "girl things." You happily wear pink shirts, like playing with dollhouses and prefer Sophia the First over Ninja Turtles. And you've always been very in touch with your feminine side, which led to this conversation we had on the way to soccer camp this morning:

You: I wish the doctor had told you I was a girl.
Me: Well, you're a boy.
You: Can a boy change into a girl?
Me: Yeah, um, technically, he can. [Coincidentally, the big story in pop culture news right now is that Bruce Jenner of Olympics and Kardashian fame--you can Google him--has come out as a transgender woman.]
You: How does a boy change into a girl?
Me: Uhh, hmm, well . . .

At this point, I changed the subject. We'll come back to this conversation once I figure out how to explain transgender issues to you!

Love,
Mom

Eating Your Greens

Dear Connor,

Your sister loves vegetables but you . . . not so much. If it's green, you will not touch it unless it's pureed into a soup or chopped into small pieces and mixed into mac 'n' cheese. So you can imagine my surprise when at dinner tonight, you actually asked for some of the stir-fried broccoli we were having and you actually ate it all! Connor, is that you?

Love,
Mom

DiDi Is Here!

Dear Connor,

The day that you have been anticipating for so long has finally arrived: Your baby brother is here! Daddy and I brought him home from the hospital today and he was upstairs with PoiPoi when you came home from school. When we told you that your DiDi was upstairs, you started jumping up and down and shouting excitedly, "The baby! The baby is here?! The baby is here!" You were so happy to finally meet him . . . and then you moved on. After you fawned over him for several minutes, your focus suddenly switched to the chocolate bar your teacher had given you at school that day and you kept asking where it was and if you could eat it. Sure, DiDi is adorable but who can compete with chocolate, right?

Love,
Mom

That Talk

Dear Connor,

At bedtime last night:

You: Mommy, how did you get pregnant?
Me: Umm . . . Well, Daddy and I wanted to have another baby and then I got pregnant.
You: So you said you wanted to get pregnant and then somebody stuck the baby inside of you?
Me: Uh . . . yeah.
You: Were you at the hospital when you said that?
Me: Um . . . yep!

I'm usually completely honest with you but I'm not ready to have *that* talk with you yet!

Love,
Mom

Baby Pressure

Dear Connor,

My friends Uncle Hode and Aunt Susan have a little girl named Kaira. We saw them this past weekend and you asked Uncle Hode, "Why does your family only have three people? Why don't you have a brother? You should have another baby so that you have four people in your family."

And Uncle Hode thought the pressure to have another baby from his mom and mother-in-law were bad!

Love,
Mom

Why Oh Why?

Dear Connor,

I love reading to you, but now it takes us about three times as long to get through a single book. Here's why:

Me (reading Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day): I went to sleep with gum in my mouth-
You: Why does he have gum in his mouth?
Me: Because he was chewing gum. I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there's gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this morning I tripped on the skateboard-
You: Why did he trip on the skateboard?
Me: Because he didn't look where he was going. I tripped on the skateboard and by mistake I dropped my sweater in the sink-
You: Why did he drop his sweater in the sink?
Me: It was an accident. I dropped my sweater in the sink while the water was running-
You: Why did he drop it while the water was running?
Me: *big sigh*

Love,
Mom

Pregnant Forever

Dear Connor,

You are so excited to meet your new sibling and ask me all of the time, "Is it June today? Is the baby coming out yet?" Yesterday morning, you commented on how big my belly is and asked me again of it's June. I said nope, not yet and you replied with a *huge* sigh, "You're going to be pregnant forever." No, but it feels like that to me, too!

Love,
Mom

Connor Loves Me

Dear Connor,

One of your best friends at school is a girl named Sophia. She is in your class and you two play together on the school lawn every day after school. Yesterday at dismissal, she ran up to your nanny and shouted, "Connor said he loves me! Connor said he loves me!" Aww, young love :)

Love,
Mom

Spilled Secret

Dear Connor,

Funny things you said this week:

-You saw one of my bras and yelled out, "Mommy, I see your boobie cover!"

-After you finished peeing yesterday morning, you said to me, "Whoa, look at how big my penis is. Mommy, did you know that when you think about something cute, your penis gets longer?" What the what?! What are you talking about?? Aren't you a decade too young to be knowing about that already?? And what kind of "cute" things are you thinking about when you're a 4-year-old?!?!

-You whispered to Daddy this morning, "Mommy hid the birthday cards that we made for you." When I heard you say that, I said to you, "Connor! That was supposed to be a secret!" You responded, "I know. That's why I whispered it to Daddy!"

Love,
Mom

Mom and Dad

Dear Connor,

When you first started talking, you called Daddy and me "Dada" and "Mama." When you were almost 2 years old, you switched to Daddy and Mommy and you'd been calling us that ever since, until recently. For some reason, you have started to call us Dad and Mom and maybe it's because it makes you sound like such a big kid instead of our little boy, but we don't like it. So stop. Go back to Daddy and Mommy. Thank you.

Love,
Mommy

Ten Girls

Dear Connor,

Yesterday afternoon, we were eating a snack together when you suddenly said to me, "After you have Pudding, I want you to have more babies. I want to have another girl. I want to have 10 girls."

Apparently, you are planning to start your own all-girls soccer team :-P

Love,
Mom

Something Important

Dear Connor,

When I asked you about school today, you told me, "We did something important in Circle Time. I don't remember because it was too long."

Okay. I'm glad it made such an impression on you!

Love,
Mom

No To Chocolate

Dear Connor,

You are a serious chocoholic. You love all things chocolate and would eat a brick if it was covered in chocolate, which is why I am extremely proud of what you did this afternoon. Your classmate Sophia's grandmother picks her up after school and always brings a small bag of chocolates to share with Sophia and her friends. Her grandmother offered you a piece of chocolate today and you told her, "My mommy said I shouldn't eat chocolate because it's not healthy. I have to listen to my mommy." I am so very impressed with your self-restraint, especially since all of the other kids were eating their chocolates. And I hope that you will show the same restraint ten years from now when/if someone offers you drugs or alcohol.

Love,

Mom

Snow Tired

Dear Connor,

Me: Connor, it's March now.
You (forlornly): Then why is it still snowing?

You know it's been a long winter when even a little kid is tired of all of the snow we've gotten!

Love,
Mom

New Sibling

Dear Connor,

So . . . you and MuiMui are getting a new sibling in June! You've known about the baby for awhile now--you were actually the first person I told and knew even before Daddy--and you are excited. You have already decided that we should name the baby Pudding Apple Chan (it has a nice ring to it!) and are fascinated by my growing belly and the fact that my belly button has popped out. We have regular conversations about your new sibling, including this hilarious one today:

You: Is the baby never going to come out? [I know that to you, it must seem like I've been pregnant forever!]
Me: No, it's going to come out in June.
You: How do you get it out?
Me: Mommy is going to go to the hospital and the doctors are going to help me. I have to push it out.
You: Push it out?
Me: Yeah. You know how you push when you poop? It's kind of like that.
You (looking bewildered and then concerned): You don't want the baby to fall in the toilet!

Haha! No, we definitely don't want that!

Love,
Mom

Hoping for Homework

Dear Connor,

When you came home from school today, you said to me sadly, "Why don't I get homework? I'm so sad that I don't get homework!"

Just wait, kid. Just wait.

Love,
Mom

The Basement

Dear Connor,

You never go to our basement because there's nothing down there for you--there's just the washer and dryer, Daddy's exercise equipment, shelves with bottled water, extra boxes of cereal, etc. I, meanwhile, spend a *lot* of time in the basement with the aforementioned washer and dryer (how is there always a full load of laundry to do every single day?!) and when I was heading down there today, you asked if you could come with me. I said sure and you could not have been more excited!

For you, it was as if you were discovering a whole new world. You kept exclaiming things like, "There's the washing machine! I see the clothes! There's cereal over there! I see my old car toy! There's a bathroom! And a sink!" Later, when we were back upstairs and the dryer went off, I said I had to get the laundry and you jumped up and asked hopefully, "Can I come with you?!" And when your nanny came back with MuiMui in the afternoon, you ran up to her and told her, "I went to the basement! I never went to the basement before! It was my first time going to the basement!"

Haha, the things that get little kids excited! Who needs to go to Disney World when I can just take you to the basement? :P

Love,
Mom

Dentist Visit

Dear Connor,

You know you're a mom when you actually look forward to a visit to the dentist because that means you get to lie back in a chair and do nothing for half an hour.

Love,
Mom

Honest Company

Dear Connor,

Things you did today:

-You occasionally lie when you've done something wrong and I ask you if you did it. I always catch you in your lie (hello, Mommy knows everything!) and we've had dozens of talks about telling the truth and not making up stories. At snack time, I asked you who dropped the cookies on the floor (when I saw you do it) and you were about to say it wasn't you but I told you to tell the truth. You quietly said, "I did it." I didn't yell at you (which you were expecting). I just cleaned up the cookies and praised you for being honest. This made you feel so good that over the next hour, you kept coming up to me to tell me, "I did it. I dropped the cookies."

-I was cooking dinner and put four carrots on the cutting board. You saw them and said, "Mommy, if you have two more carrots, you get six." Smart boy!

-You said you want to marry Lila when you get older. I said you can't marry your sister and you asked me who you can marry. I explained that you have to find someone you love and you replied, "But I love MuiMui." :)

Love,
Mom

Snow Day

Dear Connor,

Weather people predicted 20-30 inches of snow in New York City. We got about 7 inches. So it wasn't exactly "the biggest storm in history" but it was enough to cancel school today. Snow day! Since we were stuck at home, I went into the toy closet (you receive so many birthday and Christmas gifts every year that I donate some and stow the rest away in the closet to pull out on days like today when we can't go anywhere) and brought out two boxes of Magformers, which you and MuiMui spent all morning building things with. Then, you played in the snow with Daddy until your cheeks turned red, warmed up inside with a big mug of hot chocolate and watched a new movie, Wall-E, before dinner. Not a bad day!

Love,
Mom

Bundled Up

Dear Connor,

I love how much fun you and MuiMui have playing in the snow. I don't love how long it takes to bundle you guys up in your:

1) sweaters
2) fleece vests
3) leg warmers
4) snow pants
5) hats
6) scarves
7) snow gloves and
8) snow boots

Whew!

Love,
Mom

Card Cuteness

Dear Connor,

Your friend Hailey made a card for you at school yesterday. It says "Thank you Connor" on the front and has a drawing of three people (one is Hailey, one is you and the third is MuiMui) and a big red heart on the inside. I asked you why Hailey had made the card for you and you replied matter-of-factly, "Because she knows she loves me."

I laughed, but you were right! Hailey's mom asked her about the card and Hailey said she made it for you because her teacher had told the class to make a card for someone they love. So. Cute!

Love,
Mom

New Crush?

Dear Connor,

At dinner yesterday, I asked you about your day at school and you told me about a girl in your class named Bo. I asked you what Bo looks like and you responded, "She's beautiful."

And in other Connor-is-so-cute news, when I dropped you off at your soccer class after school today, you were so excited, you threw off your jacket and bolted across the gym to join the other kids who were already there. I shouted goodbye to you from the doorway and when you saw that I was leaving, you came running toward me and said, "Wait, Mommy, wait! Don't leave without a hug and a kiss!" Love it!

Love,
Mom