Dance Partner

Dear Connor,

Daddy and I took you to Barnes & Noble today and you had a great time exploring the long shelves of books and interacting with the other kids in the store. You were especially drawn to a little 9-month-old boy and I really think you were trying to teach him how to walk--you kept tugging on his legs and nudging his butt! And when the boy's dad pulled him up into his feet and made him dance, you walked up to the boy, hugged him from behind and bounced up and down to dance along with him! Daddy, me and all of the adults nearby were cracking up and the little boy was probably wondering why you were dry humping him.

Love,
Mom

Girl Trouble

Dear Connor,

During open gym time at Gymboree today, a two-year-old girl went up to you and hugged you. She also smiled at you and caressed your forehead. You responded to this older woman's advances by reaching out and trying to hold her hand but then she pushed you away. I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid women are always going to be that confusing.

Later on, you walked by that same girl and went up to her. This time, she pushed you harder and you fell flat on your back. You were thankfully okay, albeit a little stunned, but I was so mad at the girl for hurting you that I seriously wanted to push her back. Of course, I didn't because she was, well, two years old. But when you got hurt, I felt as if I got hurt, too. I'm so sorry, little guy. I know I can't protect you from all of life's bullies but I will always try.

Love,
Mom

Bottle Service

Dear Connor,

You just learned how to blow kisses to people. You put your hand over your mouth and then pull it away and say, "Muh." So cute! And you can now hold your own bottle and drink from it, but you usually still make me hold it for you. I guess I don't blame you; if I had someone who would hold up my drinks for me, I'd probably take advantage of him or her, too.

Love,
Mom

Perfect Present

Dear Connor,

You received a lot of great gifts for Christmas (and wow, you are still loving that wrapping paper tube) but you have been giving me amazing gifts every day since you were born. My current favorite is the way your face lights up when you see me come into the room and how you immediately toddle over to me and hug my leg. The very best gift, though, is watching you grow up into such an incredible little person. You are so smart (you just learned how to say "apple" and when you see a picture of an apple in one of your books, you say "apoh" and try to bite it, hehe) and so funny (for some reason, you recently started pulling your foot up to your mouth and kissing your toes) and so friendly (we went to a restaurant on Monday and you said "hi" to every single person who walked by our table--seriously, every single person). You are the best gift ever. 

Love,

Mom

Merry Christmas!

Dear Connor,

You were a good boy this year (well, for the most part) so Santa brought you a lot of fun gifts. You especially like your new xylophone, which is so cool that Daddy has been playing with it almost as much as you have!

That's okay, though, because your very favorite new toy is not the xylophone, the bead maze or the toddler bike but the long cardboard tube from the wrapping paper that we used to wrap those items. Once you saw it, you dropped all of your other gifts and played with it the rest of the night. Oh, well. Merry Christmas sweetie! Lesson learned, we've already set aside the cardboard boxes that your gifts came in this year to give to you next year.

Love,

Mom

Snoring

Dear Connor,

You snore like a bear, just like Daddy. At night, I can hear you quite clearly on the baby monitor I keep on the nightstand on my right. And Daddy is always snoring away loudly on my left, so it's like I have surround-sound snoring. You can imagine how fun that is for me.

Love,
Mom

Got Milk?

Dear Connor,

You love milk! You usually exclaim, "nai nai!" when you see your bottle and tonight, you couldn't even wait for me to bring it to you. I was heating your milk up in the bottle warmer as usual and you grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the warmer while saying "nai nai" over and over again. Sheesh, so demanding! Well, at least you are demanding milk and not candy.

Love,

Mom

It's Snot Funny

Dear Connor,

Yesterday, you were in your highchair while I was upstairs getting more bibs for you. While I was upstairs, I heard what sounded like you blowing your nose. When I went downstairs, I found that you had indeed learned how to blow your nose--on your arm. Your arm was coated with yucky, sticky boogers. You looked up at me and laughed. I had a slightly different reaction.

Love,

Mom

The Big 1-5

Dear Connor,

You are 15 months old today! I cannot believe how fast you are growing up. When you were born, you were this tiny five-pound peanut who couldn't do anything but eat, poop, cry and sleep. Now, you are tipping the scales at 23 pounds and talented at so many things. Here's what you can currently do:

-You can walk completely on your own. You occasionally do the drunken-sailor wobble but you are usually pretty stable on your legs. And quick! You can also walk and clap at the same time and walk and drink from your sippy cup at the same time. Way to multi-task!

-You know how to climb down from the couch. When I sit you on the couch, you roll over onto your tummy and shimmy off the couch feet first. You are too smart for your own good.
-Your first words were mama and mum-mum (your favorite crackers are called Mum-Mums). To your vocabulary you have added hi, bye, nai nai (milk), na na (banana), uh-oh (I say it all the time because you are always getting into trouble!) and--much to Daddy's excitement--dada! You also say "wa ish dis" a lot when you see new objects and I'm pretty sure you're saying "what is this?"
-You give the BEST hugs!
-When I say, "Connor, kiss!" to you, you kiss me on the cheek (or chin, nose, lips or eyelid. Your aim is kind of random).
-When people wave bye-bye, you wave bye-bye back to them. Last week, you waved hello for the first time to the Chinese food delivery guy who came to our house.

-You are really good at making a HUGE mess at every mealtime. Feeding you used to be easy. I'd put a spoonful of food in your mouth and you would swallow it. Now, I put the spoonful of food in your mouth and you insist on spitting it back out, smooshing it between your fingers and then popping it back into your mouth (ew). Sometimes you throw the food on the floor and sometimes you wipe it on the high chair, across your face, in your hair or all of the above. Consequently, we go through a LOT of paper towels every day.
-You can make phone calls. You love playing with my cell phone and a few times, you went into my address book and called Daddy, PoiPoi and Aunt Elizabeth. One time, you hit the emergency key for 911 but I grabbed the phone away from you before it rang. I don't let you play with my phone anymore.

-You can charm the pants off of anyone. You are pretty friggen cute so a lot of people (mostly women) come up to us when we go out and coo and giggle over you. Then when you flash them your megawatt smile, they instantly become putty in your hands. This includes me.

Love,

Mom

Precious Moment

Dear Connor,

After your bath tonight, the two of us were enjoying our nightly post-bath snuggle. You were wrapped in your hooded duckie towel, rubbing your face on my neck and babbling away softly in your cute little voice. I hugged you tightly, breathed in the calming scent of your baby shampoo and felt so lucky and amazed to be your mommy. And then you threw up all over my shoulder. Way to ruin the moment, buddy.

Love,

Mom

Pearly Whites

Dear Connor,

This past Saturday, you had your very first dentist appointment. You currently have six little chompers (and two more are cropping up on the bottom) and you absolutely hate it when I try to brush them. I literally have to pin you down to get the toothbrush in and around your mouth and sometimes I even have to ask Daddy to help hold your head still. You always cry, which, ironically, makes it easier for me to brush your teeth since your mouth is wide open. I'm so sorry we have to do this to you two times a day but you'll thank us later for your perfect pearly white teeth! 

Given your aversion toward brushing, I obviously didn't think it would go well with the dentist but like the hair salon we took you to, the dentist had also invested in the magic of TV. You turned into a zombie baby as soon as you saw SpongeBob walk across the screen and wouldn't have noticed if the dentist stuck a jackhammer in your mouth, much less a tiny handled mirror. Your check-up lasted all of five minutes (what with you only having six teeth and all) and you got a snazzy toy ball from the dentist for being such a good boy.

I think you were especially mesmerized by the TV at the dentist's office because last week, Mommy and Daddy (well, Mommy mostly) decided that we are no longer going to let you watch TV. Actually, I never wanted you to watch TV but then I slowly started letting you watch episodes of "Ni Hao, Kai-Lan" and "Bubble Guppies" when I needed to keep you occupied while I did housework. And you loved them! You'd smile and perk up as soon as you heard their theme songs and would sit as still as a stone during the entire episodes, eyes glued to the screen. Initially, you only paid attention to the TV if your cartoons were on but then you started watching it when I watched the news in the morning and when Daddy turned on a sports game after he came home at night. You were so drawn to the TV that you'd try to walk right up to it to touch the screen and you giggled in delight when we picked up the remote to turn on the TV. I don't want you to be a couch potato like so many other kids so our house is now a no-TV house.

The first few days were . . . quieter. It was odd making your breakfast without Matt Lauer's voice in the background. And I had to leave you in your playpen and let you cry while I went to the basement to do laundry. But we listened to the classical music station during breakfast and that was a calming way to start the day. And when I did laundry, you cried for several minutes but then you stopped and just started playing contentedly with your toys. So this will be good.

I do miss Matt Lauer, though.

Love,
Mom

Finger Foods

Dear Connor,

You usually like steamed tofu and broccoli but you wouldn't eat them tonight. I tried feeding them to you with your baby spoon but you turned your head away. I tried feeding them to you with an adult spoon but you turned your head away. I then picked up pieces of tofu and broccoli with my fingers and those you ate. I had to feed you the rest of the bowl of food that way. Can you say "high-maintenance"? 

Love,

Mom

What To Do With Books

Dear Connor,

Your books are for reading, not for chewing, throwing or sliding across the floor so that you scratch up the covers. That is all.

Love,

Mom

Things You Did Today

Dear Connor,

Here are a few things you did today:

-You stood up on your own! Before, you had to use something (the couch, the playpen gate, my leg) to pull yourself up to standing. Today, you were sitting on your play mat and I watched you go from sitting to squatting to standing without any assistance. Yay! 

-You put your hands on my cheeks, pulled my face toward yours and gave me a kiss. You're such a sweetie pie!
-I handed you the empty sandwich bag your snack sticks were in and you played with the bag for half an hour. I've never seen you play with any of your actual toys for that long.

-When you wouldn't eat your ground turkey and apples (you still hate eating turkey no matter what I try to hide it in), I frowned and hung my head to signify that I was sad. You patted me on the head the way I pat your head when you are sad. 

-You tipped your toy refrigerator on its side, opened the door and sat in it, as if you were trying to chill your butt cheeks.

-When I was sitting on the couch, you toddled over to me and laid your head in my lap. *melt!*

Love,

Mom

Into the Hamper You Go

Dear Connor,

You never stay still during diaper changes. You hate being on the changing table so you kick, squirm, wiggle and do whatever you can to get off the table. Tonight, you flipped over onto your tummy and crawled over to the edge of the table. I grabbed you but you're so strong that you broke out of my grasp--and fell right into the hamper next to the changing table. Thankfully, the hamper was pretty full of clothes so you weren't hurt. You did whimper because you were curled up in a ball and couldn't move. I, on the other hand, was shaking from laughing so hard. You nut!

Love,
Mom

Happy Turkey Day!

Dear Connor,

Yesterday wasn't your first Thanksgiving, but it was the first Thanksgiving where you could actually eat all of the delicious food (you could only have breast milk last year). Daddy roasted a huge turkey, Aunts Daisy, Polly and Ling made a bunch of yummy side dishes and I baked pumpkin gingerbread and pumpkin pecan pie for dessert.

You had turkey, mashed potatoes, cauliflower, yams and gingerbread and literally fell asleep while you were eating. Aww, your first Thanksgiving food coma!

Love,
Mom

He's Just Not That Into You

Dear Connor,

Today, I asked you if you love Mommy. You said, "Adinkso." You think so? Awww :(

Love,
Mom

Sharing Is Caring

Dear Connor,

When you eat your snack puffs, you often hold one out and offer it to me, which is so sweet! I love it when you do that--even if you suck on the puff before you give it to me. Yum.

Love,
Mom

Clean & Clear Teeth

Dear Connor,

I was so tired today that I mistakenly put face wash on my toothbrush. Twice.

Love,
Mom

First Haircut

Dear Connor,

Today was an exciting day for you: You had your very first haircut! Your hair was so long that we could no longer see the tops of your ears or the back of your neck so it was definitely time for a trim. PoiPoi told me to give you a haircut myself but yeah, I was not about to go anywhere near your head with a pair of sharp steel blades--so Mommy and Daddy paid a stranger to do it instead! We took you to Cozy's Cuts for Kids in Manhattan and I was worried that you wouldn't stay in the salon chair but Cozy's has a magic weapon that can turn the squirmiest of children into perfectly still little zombies: the television. 

After we plopped you into the cool car-shaped seat and wrapped a giant hair salon bib around you (you looked so cute!), your stylist turned on a Dora the Explorer cartoon for you and you immediately stopped moving, except to occasionally stand up and point at the screen (yes, sweetie, I did see what Dora and Boots just did!) or move your head when the stylist's arm happened to block your view (man, you can't miss even a second, can you?). 

So you went from this:

To this!

You're such a handsome little guy!

Love,
Mom

Underage Drinking

Dear Connor,

We had a party at our house today and you crawled over to a case of beer that was on the floor. Aunt Daisy asked you if you wanted a beer and you replied, "Adoo." Haha, were you trying to say "I do"? Sorry buddy, you have to wait awhile. Two decades, in fact.

Love,
Mom

Working Out

Dear Connor,

I will never understand people who go to the gym and then take the elevator to go up a couple floors.

Love,
Mom

Those Things With the Pages

Dear Connor,

Your grandparents grew up in a world with no Kindles, Nooks or iPads. Being old-fashioned myself, I don't own any of those devices, either. But your teachers will probably be using all of them in kindergarten by the time you go to school and one of my greatest fears is that you're going to come up to me one day and ask me, "Mommy, what's a book?"

Love,

Mom

Cute Overload

Dear Connor,

All moms will say this about their babies but in my case, it is totally true: You are the cutest baby ever! You were already doing a bunch of adorable things right after you were born, like pursing your lips into the "Blue Steel" pose (that's why all your aunties and uncles called you "Zoolander Baby") and waving your arms around as if you were conducting a symphony orchestra.

And the cuteness has kept on coming! Here are just a few of the many cute things you do now:

-You look so proud when you accomplish something for the first time, like holding your own fork and using it to feed yourself. Your eyes light up and you absolutely beam.
-You often point your finger up in the air and wag it around when you talk. You look so commanding and authoritative! PoiPoi saw a video of you doing that and said you're going to be President of the United States one day.
-I guess you got the pointing and wagging thing from me. I point and wag my finger at you when I'm reprimanding you and sometimes you point and wag and go "da da da da!" back at me. I can't believe you are already talking back to me!
-You are strangely fascinated by my belly button. Whenever you see it, you make a beeline for it and like to put your finger in it.
-You shiver when you pee. At least I always know when I have to change your diaper.
-You like to clutch my arm as you fall asleep. Actually, I think any body part will do, so long as you have skin-to-skin contact with me. There have been a few times when we were lying next to each other in bed and you fell asleep with your hand pressed against my chest or, more disturbingly, on my throat.
-You look so dazed and confused when you wake up from a nap. And your hair is always sticking up every which way.
-You're a little piggy! It doesn't matter if you've already eaten a full meal. If you see me eating anything, you have to have some, too, and will tug on my clothes until I give you a bite of food.
-If I give you a damp towel, you'll use it to wipe your high chair tray or the tabletop. Anytime you want to help me clean is fine with me!
-Sometimes when you cry, you flap both of your arms up and down, as if you're trying to fly away. And since you don't actually fly away, you look a lot like a penguin.
-You are such a social butterfly. Whenever we go to Gymboree for your music classes or free play time, you like to crawl up to other babies and try to hold their hands.
-When you walk, you often take five or six steps and then stop and squat for a few seconds before you stand up straight again and walk a few more steps. Are you resting or exercising?
-You always get a big cheesy grin on your face when you see your own reflection in the mirror. Even you think you are super cute!

I love every single adorable thing about you!

Love,
Mom

Beware of Dog

Dear Connor,

This is a timely letter, considering the fact that Halloween is tomorrow. Uncle Ray and Aunt Sylvia gave you a Fisher-Price stuffed puppy for your birthday and it talks, laughs and sings when you touch various spots on its body. It's cute, interactive and a good learning toy. However, it is also creepy when I'm working in the living room late at night and the puppy suddenly starts talking when no one has touched it. Especially when it says, "Peekaboo! I see you!" in its high-pitched voice.

Yikes.

Love,

Mom

Cry Me A River

Dear Connor,

You like sleeping next to Mommy and Daddy. And Mommy and Daddy like sleeping next to you, too. We can cuddle underneath the blanket, hear your cute baby snores and watch your round little tummy rise and fall as you breath in and out. But we can't let you sleep next to us. A pillow or blanket could cover your face. One of us could roll over on top of you. You might wake up while we are still sleeping and decide to crawl off the side of the bed. So sleeping with us, no matter how warm and snuggly, is no good. 

I tried explaining this to you, but you didn't care. For months, you cried as soon as we put you in your crib at night and wouldn't stop until we brought you into our bed. So we let you sleep with us because then all three of us (and our neighbors, who can hear everything through our inconveniently thin walls) could get some rest. But it had to stop. And so this week, Mommy and Daddy decided to do what all parents of young babies dread: We would let you cry it out. 

Daddy was under the assumption that the cry it out (CIO) method meant that we would put you in your crib, let you cry until you fell asleep and then get you in the morning. Yeah, not so much. Since doing that would probably scar you for all of eternity, I took a gentler approach. We went through your usual bedtime routine: bath, books, goodnight kisses and hugs. I put you in your crib. You cried. I patted your tummy, said goodnight and left the room. The books I read said to then check in on you every 10 minutes, comfort you for 1-2 minutes and leave the room even if you are still crying. I was supposed to do this until you fell asleep. I had watched a video on CIO sleep training and in the video, the baby falls asleep on his own in half an hour. On the first night we did CIO, you cried for THREE HOURS. I went into your room every 10 minutes and you were always standing up, holding onto the side of the crib and crying like a, well, baby. Exhausted and worried  that I was causing permanent damage, I caved and brought you into our bed. You fell asleep in a second. 

Night Two: You cried for three hours, I caved.

Night Three: You cried for an hour. After an hour, you stopped crying. On the video monitor, I saw you sitting up but your eyes were drooping and your head was bobbing down, down, down . . . You jerked your head up. But then it started to bob down, down, down . . . until you jerked your head up again. Stubborn boy! You wanted to fall asleep but you kept fighting it. Until sleep eventually won out and you actually fell asleep sitting up. I tiptoed into your room and laid you on your back. 

Night Four: Success! I put you in your crib. You cried. I left the room. You stopped crying after a few minutes. You again tried to fight sleep but soon fell asleep sitting up.

Night Five: You cried a little longer when I left your room tonight but you stopped after about 10 minutes. On the video monitor, I watched you sit down and then tumble onto your tummy and fall asleep. 

Yay! We did it!

Love,

Mom

Warm Welcome

Dear Connor,

Turks & Caicos was beautiful and I had a very relaxing vacation but I missed you and Daddy so much and couldn't wait to come back and see you both! You were really excited to see me again, too, and welcomed me with your big toothy grin and also by peeing on me when I changed your diaper, which you had not done in a long time. Daddy said to pretend it was the ocean splashing me.

Love,
Mom

Mommy's Separation Anxiety

Dear Connor,

I talk a lot about your separation anxiety but I leave for my trip tomorrow and I'm going through a bit of separation anxiety myself. I can't wait to see Turks & Caicos and relax on the beach with Aunties Yuan and Emily but I am also going to miss you so unbelievably much. Be good while I'm away, okay?

And I don't think you'll forget about me in four days but I've instructed Daddy to show you my picture several times a day, just in case.

Love,

Mom

One Small Step For Man

Dear Connor,

Yesterday, I watched you take your very first steps! I was sitting on the couch eating a bowl of cereal for breakfast and you were standing up in your playpen, blissfully sucking on a green Mega Blok. As I spooned Honey Bunches of Oats into my mouth, I saw you lift your left foot tentatively off the ground and step forward! And then you stepped forward with your right foot! And then you lost your balance and fell on your bum, hehe. You're becoming such a big boy. I'm so proud of you!

Love,
Mom

Separation Anxiety

Dear Connor,

You have always had pretty bad separation anxiety. I wonder if it's because you had to stay in the NICU for the first two weeks of your life? Instead of being with you 24/7 like we wanted, Mommy and Daddy had to leave you in the hospital at the end of each day. Granted, you were often sound asleep when we left but maybe you knew on some level that we were leaving and that's why you hate to see us go away now, even if it's just to another room in our house. And you have always been incredibly attached to me in particular. I usually enjoy this (especially since you'll probably want nothing to do with me once you hit those wonderful teen years) but sometimes I don't (like this past weekend, when I was out but had to race home when GongGong called me and said you'd been crying for me for more than an hour). 

I hate making you feel scared and abandoned, and your cries break my heart. And I'm really nervous about next week--I am going on a little vacation with Aunties Yuan and Emily and will be gone for four days and three nights. I've never been apart from you for one full day much less four, so I don't know how you're going to handle it (or how Daddy and NaiNai are going to handle you, frankly, if you won't stop crying for me). But I'll be back before you know it. I can't always be right by your side but I'll always be here for you.

Love,

Mom

Kiss It And Make It All Better

Dear Connor,

It was a rough week. Daddy was working on a big project at work and came home really late every day, so it was mainly just you and me all week. Of course, I love you and me time but sometimes it's difficult to enjoy you and me time when I also have to make time to cook, do the dishes, fold the laundry, wash your toys and clean the floor over and over again because someone (ahem, Connor) thinks it's fun to eat half the food Mommy puts on his highchair tray and fling the other half onto the floor. It's also hard to get all of those things done because you, being the attached little guy that you are, still scream and cry whenever I leave your side. I know you just want me to stay close because you love me but I can't always stay close and listening to your sobs is painful but also frustrating, especially when I feel as if I can't get anything done and I haven't had time to eat anything all day.

None of this is your fault. Babies are a lot of work and taking care of one, especially with no one else to help, is really stressful. So Mommy cried today. While you were crying in your playpen, Mommy went to the bathroom, shut the door and cried, too. I wonder, do you feel better after you've had a good cry? If not, you'll see when you get older that sometimes crying can make you feel better. After I cried for a few minutes, I felt better and went back downstairs to get you.

I was still a little upset when Daddy came home from work today (at a reasonable hour, thankfully) and told him that taking care of you on my own all week had been so exhausting that I had cried. Daddy then asked you why you'd been so difficult and that you should say sorry to me. And at that second, you leaned over and kissed me on the cheek! You had never kissed me on the cheek before and I don't know how you learned how to do that (I guess from seeing Mommy and Daddy do it all the time?) but it melted my heart. You then kissed me two more times and flashed me your sweet smile and I instantly forgot about the horrible, no good, very bad week.

Love,

Mom

My Little Charmer

Dear Connor,

It is impossible to discipline you when you flash me your million-dollar smile every time I scold you.

Love,
Mom

Baby With the Bath Water

Dear Connor,

Please stop trying to drink the bath water. It's gross.

Love, 

Mom

All About Connor

Dear Connor,

I have spent the past 12 months getting to know you and I must say, you are a pretty awesome little guy. You are only 1 year old but you already have such a sweet and charming personality. Here are some things about you:

-You are so happy! You smile and laugh all the time, which makes me smile and laugh all the time, too.

-You have a LOT of energy. You're constantly crawling all over the house, jumping up and down in your playpen and rolling around on the couch. Sitting still is not something you do well! I don't know how I'm going to keep up with you once you start walking. 

-You currently have four teeth, two right in the middle of your upper gum and two right in the middle of your lower gum. You look like a little bunny rabbit!

-Your first word was "mama." Daddy is in denial about this and will tell you it was "dada" but don't believe him! It was "mama"! 

-Your favorite foods are yams, mangoes, yogurt and all carbs. Whenever you are crying, I can always get you to stop by giving you Mum-Mum crackers or yogurt melts. I am glad food can comfort you but I also worry that I am helping you develop an eating disorder. Hmm.

-When you meet new people, you smartly size them up first. You get this very serious look on your face and stare intently at them for about 15 minutes, judging them and trying to determine their character, I assume. Most times, you will deem them worthy and start smiling and babbling at them. But there have been a couple instances when you stared at someone and then burst out crying. They failed the Connor test!

-You are very curious. Whenever anyone is doing anything, you'll turn your head or crane your neck to study and observe them. Although, this could also mean that you are a just a nosy busybody.

-You have always loved water. When you were a newborn, you'd always stop crying instantly if we turned on the faucet (our water bill went way up during those first few months!). Now, you have so much fun splashing around during your baths and I have to wrestle with you to get you out of the tub.

-Daddy and I have spent a small fortune on toys for you but your favorite toys are the TV remote, boxes of tissues and wet washcloths--all things that are not actually toys!

-You are very attached to me. You scream and cry and wail whenever I leave the room. A lot. In fact, it sounds as if I'm torturing you and not just going into the kitchen to get a glass of water. So you have to stop that, sweetie, or the neighbors are going to report Mommy to Social Services! 

-You can do so many things now: crawl, stand on your own, feed yourself finger foods, hold and drink from your own sippy cup, wave bye-bye, climb up the entire staircase in less than a minute, clap your hands (when we watched the Emmy Awards, you clapped every time people on TV clapped!) and stick out your tongue when I tell you to show me your tongue.

Like I said, you are pretty awesome!

Love, 

Mom

Party Time!

Dear Connor,

Number of hand-folded party hats: 10. Number of hand-assembled favor boxes: 10. Number of homemade coconut cupcakes: 22. Number of homemade monkey-shaped birthday cakes: 1. Number of nights Mommy went to bed before 2am last week: 0.

You won't remember any of it, but you had a big birthday party on Saturday! Mommy and Daddy rented out a kids' gym called Gymboree (not to be confused with the kids' clothing store named Gymboree, which several of your uncles and aunties mistakenly went to) and--because I call you my little monkey--decorated the front room in a monkey theme with monkey balloons, monkey plates and cups and monkey party hats. Then there was the piece de resistance: your monkey-shaped birthday cake! I've made lots of birthday cakes in the past but none of them were as complicated as one shaped like a furry primate. Yet how hard could it be? Mommy bought the monkey-shaped cake pan. Mommy bought the decorating tips. Mommy bought the icing ingredients. And three hours into piping the "fur" onto the monkey, Mommy realized that hello, it was really hard! My hand was cramping, my back was hurting from bending over the cake and it was a humid day, so I was trying to work quickly yet neatly before all of the frosting melted. But in the end, the cake looked pretty good and it was a fun challenge for me. Next year, though, you're getting an easy, standard-issue round cake, haha :)

You're a super active guy who is always bursting with energy, so you LOVED Gymboree! You and your buddies tore the place up! There were mini rock walls for you to climb, tunnels for you to crawl through and a cowbell you seemed to especially enjoy shaking (I considered buying the cowbell for you but then Daddy wisely reminded me that I'd have to hear it at home. All the time.). Halfway through the party, we played a game where we set you in front of several objects: a book, a calculator, a stethoscope, a baseball bat and a cooking pot. The one you chose would determine what you'll be when you grow up and you zoomed right over to the calculator. Guess you'll be working with numbers like Daddy! Although, all the calculator buttons probably made you think it was your favorite toy, our TV remote!

The grown-ups at the party played a game, too. I had printed out 12 photos of you, one from each month of your first year, and everyone had to guess their correct order. Uncle Ed won--he only got two wrong (and we'll just ignore the fact that Daddy got SEVEN wrong! Ai yah!).

I had fun watching you have fun at the party. Happy birthday sweetie!

Love,
Mom

You're 1 Year Old!

Dear Connor,

Happy birthday sweetheart! Today is your very first birthday! We just flew back from California yesterday, so you were a little jet-lagged and tired but you perked up for the small celebration we had for you at home. Daddy came home early from work and NaiNai and Aunt Elizabeth came over, too. We helped you blow out the candle on your coconut cupcake (When I was giving birth to you, the hospital TV was airing an episode of "Good Eats" where Alton Brown makes a coconut cake, so now I want to make a coconut cake for you every year on your birthday! And actually, the coconut cupcake we had today was from a bakery called Crumbs. I really wanted to make you a coconut cake myself, but Mommy was jet-lagged and tired, too!) and gave you your first birthday presents! You were a pro at ripping off the wrapping paper--and seemed to prefer the paper to the actual presents!

This past year has been amazing, surprising, tiring, rewarding, inspiring, tiring, fun, fulfilling . . . did I say tiring? Everyone talks about the sleepless nights and constant diaper changes, but no one told me how hard being a parent actually is. I had to sacrifice a lot of things I didn't know I'd have to sacrifice (free time! Mommy never has free time anymore!) and there were many instances when you would cry and I would just cry along with you because I was exhausted, frustrated, worried or all of the above. But as cliche as it is, all of the sacrifices I've made are completely worth it in exchange for you, my beautiful, happy, healthy baby boy. I love you more than anything in this world and am truly blessed to have you in my life. This past year has been the best year of my life and I look forward to many, many, many more with you.

Love,
Mom