Dear Connor,
Today's milestone: Your very first homework assignment!
By the way, I spent more than $100 on pencils, erasers and other school supplies and sent them in with you on the first day of school but didn't remember to keep any pencils and erasers at home for you to do your homework with. After several minutes of searching through boxes and wondering if it would look bad if you did your homework in crayon, I found two pencils in a goody bag you got at a friend's birthday party, whew!
Love,
Mom
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