Good Mom

Dear Connor,

You came up to me today and told me that I am a good mom. I said, "I try." You responded, "You don't try, you do."

Thanks so much for that, sweetie! That made me feel really great.

Love,
Mom

Three Outs

Dear Connor,

If you were to list, in order, the people who call me the most, it would go:

1. Daddy
2. PoiPoi
3. GongGong
4. Your school nurse

Seriously! The nurse seems to call me every other week. You have either crashed into someone on the playground, started having a coughing fit, complained of a headache, developed some weird rash after eating a cupcake (true story) . . . The reason for today's call was the first example I listed (which is also the most common reason your nurse calls me). You were running around the playground during recess and bumped heads with another kid. Like I said, that has happened many times before and like those times, you were fine but today, the collision knocked out your loose tooth! You have officially lost three baby teeth!

Love,
Mom

Different Tastes

Dear Connor,

I cooked sausage, bean and barley soup for dinner tonight and when I was cleaning up the table after everyone had finished eating, I noticed that you had eaten everything except the cannellini beans, MuiMui had eaten everything except the carrots and DiDi had eaten everything except the sausage.

You like spinach ricotta ravioli but not butternut squash ravioli. MuiMui likes butternut squash ravioli but not spinach ricotta ravioli. DiDi doesn't like either and just eats the outer pasta part of the ravioli, leaving the filling.

You eat pasta with tomato sauce. JieJie and DiDi eat pasta but not if it's covered in tomato sauce.

You and DiDi enjoy grapes, applesauce, oatmeal and peanut butter. Your sister hates grapes, applesauce, oatmeal and peanut butter.

MuiMui and DiDi both eat strawberries, oranges, pineapple, yogurt, string cheese, cashews, pistachios, corn, cauliflower, shrimp and California rolls. You won't touch any of that.

Gaaaaah. Meal planning for three kids with three very different palettes is. A. Huge. Pain. Sometimes, I just want to give you all cereal for dinner and be done with it :-P

Love,
Mom

I'm A Cool Mom

Dear Connor,

Daddy and I love this show called "This Is Us" (it's one of the only shows we both like to watch AND one where Daddy actually stays awake for the entire episode no matter how early or late it is, which--believe me--is a rare feat!) and during last night's episode, one of the teenage characters said, "I know my mother does some stupid stuff sometimes, but mostly she's cool."

As the future mother of three teenagers, that is the highest praise I will hope for from you and your siblings. :-P

Love,
Your eternally cool mom

Push It

Dear Connor,

We had this conversation in the car yesterday:

You: Mama, how hard is it to push out a baby?
Me: It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do physically. And it hurts a LOT.
You: Wow, I'm really glad I'm not a girl!

Love,
Mom

Cry Session

Dear Connor,

It began innocently enough. We have "Movie Night Fridays" in our house and the movie this week was Boss Baby. We had seen the commercials when it was in theaters way back in March and it looked really funny, so we were excited to finally be able to rent it on Netflix. During the first half of the movie, you, MuiMui and DiDi laughed and giggled and seemed to be enjoying the movie. Fast forward to the climactic chase scene near the end--I kid you not, all THREE of you started bawling, one after the other. First, you started screaming and crying. MuiMui was already whimpering in fear and when you started crying, that pushed her over the edge and she started wailing. The movie didn't upset DiDi but seeing the two of you crying did, so he took his cues from you guys and began sobbing. What. In. The. Holy. WORLD?!?!?

We have watched plenty of kids' movies that had scary parts (the wolves chasing Anna and Kristoff in Frozen, the Beast kidnapping Belle's father in Beauty and the Beast, etc.) but the particular scene that we were watching in Boss Baby when the three of you lost it didn't seem like it would trigger any nightmares. The movie centers around a little boy and his baby brother and during the big scene, their parents are at the airport and about to leave for a business trip. The parents had left the boys under the care of a babysitter who turned out to be mean, so the boys had run to the airport to catch their parents. The boys didn't get there in time, though, so they watched from afar as their parents boarded the plane and the crew shut the door. And it was at that exact point that you started crying, thus setting off the sibling chain reaction.

Of course, in retrospect, Daddy and I now see why that scene would be so frightening for three little kids. Their parents left them! They have to stay with the evil babysitter! I'm so sorry you guys got scared. And I'm also sorry Daddy and I weren't that successful in stifling our laughter as we were comforting all of you. We were not expecting that scene to affect you so much and we were so bewildered when all of you were crying at the same time!

Love,
Mom

Halloween Treat

Dear Connor,

While getting bucketfuls of free candy was undoubtedly the highlight of your--and every kids'--Halloween, my favorite part about yesterday was seeing how thoughtful you are.

You love your sweets (your favorites are Snickers, Tootsie Rolls and butterscotch Dum-Dums) and--again, like every kid--set out yesterday to collect as much Halloween loot as possible. We began trick-or-treating shortly after you and MuiMui got out of school, but our friend Brian and his daughter JoJo couldn't start until later on. They joined us around 4:30pm and when you saw JoJo's empty trick-or-treat bucket, you immediately threw a big handful of your candy into it without anyone even asking you to. I was so touched and am so proud of you for being so kind.

We trick-or-treated for two hours and when we got home, you wanted to share more of your candy, so you and MuiMui sat on our front steps and paid it forward by giving away your candy to trick-or-treaters. Since it was later on in the evening, many of the trick-or-treaters were older kids in middle school, so it was kind of funny to see a second grader giving his Halloween candy to eighth graders. You and MuiMui had a lot of fun passing out candy but that part of the evening wasn't completely altruistic--whereas you gave JoJo candy you do like (I saw you toss her some Snickers and Mott's fruit snacks), you told me in between trick-or-treaters, "I'm giving them the candy I don't like so it won't go to waste." Smart!

Sorting your loot at the end of the night

Love,
Mom

Not For Sale

Dear Connor,

We were at a restaurant yesterday waiting for our takeout order when you suddenly turned to me and said, "Mama, I'm glad you're not poor so you don't have to sell your kids." Um . . . me, too?

It turns out that you had read a biography about a girl in Afghanistan whose parents didn't have a lot of money and tried to sell her. Hence your comment!

Love,
Mom

P.S. I was almost going to title this post "Kids for Sale" but then thought about what kind of trouble that would get me in!

Massive Appetite

Dear Connor,

GongGong was helping you with your homework today and one of your vocab words was the word "massive." I told you that massive means really big and to use the word in a sentence. You quickly came up with, "My grandfather eats a massive amount of chicken."

Hahahaha! It's funny because it's true!

Love,
Mom

You're Seven Years Old!

Dear Connor,

Here is an example of the type of conversation you and I have on a regular basis:

You: Can I have a snack?
Me: No, I'm cooking dinner.
You: Can I have a cereal bar?
Me: I said no. You can see that I'm cooking right now. If you eat now, you'll be too full for dinner.
You: But I'm starving! [Even though you had a smoothie and bowl of pretzels 30 minutes earlier.] Can I have a peanut butter sandwich?
Me: NO.
You: Can I just have a spoon of peanut butter then?
Me: CONNOR, I SAID NO!!!

*sigh*

You are the most persistent person I have ever had to deal with, hands down. When you want something--be it a snack, screen time or to be allowed to stay up past your bedtime--you do not like to take no for an answer and sometimes/many times do what you want even after Daddy and I tell you that you can't. And therefore, the #1 thing that Daddy and I scold you for is not listening. When you look back on your childhood as an adult, you will probably vividly remember the countless times Daddy and I said to you in exasperated tones, "You have to listen when we tell you to do something! Why can't you listen better? You got in trouble at school for not listening again?!" (Or maybe you will have blocked all that out. Time will tell.)

There are dozens of articles about the challenges of parenting the "strong-willed child." You are definitely strong-willed and parenting you is definitely a challenge. You have an idea of the way things should be and when what we want doesn't overlap with what you want, you protest, argue, beg, whine . . . everything but say, "Sure, Mama, I'll do everything you just told me to do right away." :-P

I'm not going to lie. Being your mom can be frustrating and exhausting. Some days, it feels as if all we do is argue about what you want to do versus what I need you to do. But no matter how annoyed or angry I get at you, I want you to know that I am also proud of you. You don't just blindly follow rules for the sake of following rules; you consider and question them if they don't seem right to you. This obviously gets you into trouble at home and at school but I am proud of you for seeing things your own way. I am proud of you for always speaking your mind. I am proud of you for knowing what you want and not being afraid to fight for it. I am proud of your perseverance.

Those qualities may test my patience on a daily basis when I have told you to start your homework (for the tenth time!) but those same qualities will take you so very far in life. I can't wait to see where you go.

Happy 7th birthday to my smart, sweet and incredibly strong boy! I love you so much!

Love,
Mom

Clown Car

Dear Connor,

This morning, we were waiting in front of our house for your bus to camp when you told me that you wanted to show me something next to our car, which was parked in the driveway. I followed you and MuiMui over to the side of the car and then you two faced the car and started dancing, wiggling and laughing hysterically. It turns out that the side of the car acted like a fun house mirror and distorted your reflection, so you guys looked like midgets; and when you stretched your arms out to your sides, they became really long ala Elastigirl from The Incredibles. I have to admit, your reflections were pretty funny! And I love how you found amusement and entertainment in such an unexpected place!

Love,
Mom

Goodbye Blunder

Dear Connor,

This morning, I walked you and MuiMui over to your bus to camp, kissed you guys and called out as you boarded the bus, "I love you! Good night!" Haha, oops! I hadn't had coffee yet :-P

Love,
Mom

May the Fourth Be With You

Dear Connor,

We were talking about the 4th of July yesterday and you asked, "When do we celebrate the 4th--[brief pause]--Oh."

Hahaha!

Love,
Mom

Goodbye Pencils, Goodbye Books

Dear Connor,

First day of first grade and pre-k vs. last day of first grade and pre-k:

Summer vacation, here we come!

Love,
Mom

Here's the Thong

Dear Connor,

We walked past a lingerie shop today and one of the mannequins was wearing a thong. You saw that and said, "Why would you wear underwear that doesn't cover your butt cheeks?! Then you'd be like, 'Ow, my crotch!'" Very keen observation, little man!

Love,
Mom

All Tied Up

Dear Connor,

Today's accomplishment: You learned how to tie your shoes! Goodbye Velcro, hello laces!

Love,
Mom

Call Me Red Ninja

Dear Connor,

You seriously crushed it with the one-liners this week:

You: Mommy, I don't want my name to be Connor anymore. I want you to only call me 'Red Ninja.'"

At a restaurant where there was a very obese woman standing near our table--
You: Mommy, why is her stomach so big?
Me: That's not a nice thing to say. And she's standing right there, so she might hear you.
You: What? I didn't call her f-a-t.
Me: Sweetie, she's a grown-up. She knows how to spell.

You: You're the best mama in the whole world.
Me: Eh, I don't know about that.
You: Well, you are to me.

Me: Being a mom is one of the hardest jobs in the world. Who else do you know who works 24/7?
You: God.
Me (thinking): Well, damn.

Love,
Mom

Uncle Tony

Dear Connor,

Your Uncle Tony always loved the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. What's not to love? They are superheroes who fight crime, make wisecracks all of the time and crave pizza. And they aren't so different from Uncle Tony, who grew up on Pizza Hut, was always ready with a funny comment for everything and was a real-life superhero who made so many people's lives better just by being a part of them.

I met many of Uncle Tony's friends last week and all of them said the same thing: Tony made the world a better place. Whether he was joking around to cheer up a sad friend, encouraging another friend to pursue her dream job or just holding a girl's purse so she wouldn't lose it at a bar, he always looked out for others and lit up any room with his humor and positive attitude.

Uncle Tony was truly a superhero because he was strong enough to maintain that humor and positive attitude even when he was diagnosed with brain cancer not just once, but twice. When GongGong, PoiPoi and I wanted to crumple into a heap onto the floor, Uncle Tony was the one who made us laugh and lifted our spirits when we were the ones who should have been doing that for him. His strength never wavered during his countless treatments and surgeries and even when his entire body was literally failing him and he couldn't even speak, he still found the power to give the doctors an optimistic thumbs-up sign and playfully stick out his tongue at us.

I will never be able to process this loss, the fact that I will never hug my brother again or text him about our favorite shows or have lengthy conversations with him about how crazy our parents are. It is unreal and unfair that he was taken at such a young age when he had so much more to accomplish. And it truly breaks my heart that your memories of him will be fuzzy at best and that he will not be here to see you grow up. Uncle Tony was my baby brother and I do not know how I will make it through the rest of my life without him. I wish that you didn't have to go through the rest of your life without him. But if anything, Uncle Tony taught us all how to stay strong even in the darkest hours.

I miss Uncle Tony so unbearably much, but he will stay alive in our memories and I will talk about him all of the time so that you, MuiMui and DiDi will always remember what an amazing, special and undeniably super uncle you guys had.

Love,
Mom

Pilgrim Sighting

Dear Connor,

We walked past a group of Amish people today and when you saw their clothes and long beards, you said excitedly, "Mommy, look! Pilgrims!" I wanted to laugh but I think they heard you, so I also wanted to hide under a Plymouth rock. Eesh.

Love,
Mom

He's the Bomb

Dear Connor,

Funny questions you asked at the airport when we were traveling to Pittsburgh last week: "Mommy, what is that hole in the back of the airplane? Is that its tushee?"

Funny conversation you had with one of the flight attendants:

Flight attendant: How old are you?
You: I'm 6 years old. How old are you? 25?
Flight attendant: I wish I was 25. I'm 35.
You (calling out loudly because the flight attendant had walked to the front of the plane): MY MOM IS 35, TOO!

Not-so-funny exchange we had at the airport security gate when we were flying back home yesterday:

You: Why do they make us take off our shoes?
Me: They want to make sure there are no dangerous materials in our shoes.
You (loudly): What kind of dangerous materials? Like a bomb? A bomb, Mommy? Why would anyone put a bomb in their shoe? How could you fit a bomb in your shoe?
Me (in an exasperated whisper): Oh my god, Connor, stop saying 'bomb'!!"

Love,
Mom