The Big Talk

Dear Connor,

We had this conversation during your shower yesterday:

You (as you were cleaning your private parts): What's inside my penis balls?

Me: [stifled laughter] Penis balls? Those are actually called your testicles.

You: Oh. What's inside my testicles?

Me: Nothing.   <--- what I should have said
Me: Well, when you get older, they'll have stuff to make a baby.   <---what I actually said, opening up the trap door

You: There's a baby inside my penis balls?!

Me: No, no. You need a boy and a girl to make a baby. You need the stuff from your penis ba--I mean, your testicles and an egg from a girl. When girls are older, they have eggs inside their bodies.

You: Do the eggs hatch?

Me: No, they're not like birds. You need to put the stuff in your testicles together with an egg to make a baby and then the baby grows in the girl's tummy.

You (asking the obvious next question): How do put the stuff in your testicles and the egg together?

Me (realizing this is as far as I want to take the birds and bees conversation this time): You can ask Daddy when he gets home.

You: Ok.

Oye. Luckily for Daddy, you forgot all about this when you saw him!

Love,
Mom