Talking Skills

Dear Connor,

You are becoming quite the talented little talker (I myself can and have talked many people's ears off, so I guess you get your verbal skills from me, hehe). In just the past week, you learned how to say the following phrases:

"Take off my bib." (instead of tugging madly at your bib and whining, "Ow ow ow!" when you're done eating)

"Connor do it." (you are becoming so independent!)

"Mommy do it." (but you are also still a little bit lazy sometimes)

"Can I have some?" (you technically lump all of the words together and say something more like, "Canihasum?"

I'm proud of you!

Love,
Mom

Big Appetite

Dear Connor,

You are only 2 years old but you are already developing the insatiable appetite of a teenage boy. Last week, you ate an entire bowl of oatmeal for breakfast and then ate most of my bowl of cereal, too. The other day, you finished a big portion of stir-fried pork and eggplant with rice and then polished off a lot of pork and eggplant from Daddy's plate. We went out to brunch today and you had scrambled eggs, sausage and toast. I actually ordered an adult-sized portion for you (there was no kids' menu) and you ate almost half of it. After awhile, I thought you were full and turned my attention to Uncle Thien but you kept tugging on my arm. Apparently, you weren't full and I wasn't feeding you fast enough because instead of waiting for me to give you some more food, you suddenly reached over my arm, grabbed a huge fistful of scrambled egg from my plate and shoved it into your mouth. Geez. 

Love,

Mom 

Questions For Connor

Dear Connor,

I would like to ask you the following questions:

-Why do you lie when I ask you if you've pooped? You always avoid eye contact and chirp in a high-pitched voice, "No! No!" I don't understand. First of all, I can tell when you've pooped. In fact, all of our neighbors can probably tell when you've pooped because it smells a whole lot. And you usually accompany your poops with telltale grunts and scrunched facial expressions. Second of all, once you've pooped, it means your diaper is full of poop. It's gross. It's yucky. I mentioned that it smells. Why wouldn't you want to tell me you pooped so that I can change your diaper and get rid of it?

-Why do you spit out a bite of food only to ask for more of the same food? We were sharing a plate of honeydew (your current favorite fruit). I gave you a piece and you spit it out on the floor but then asked for another piece. So I gave you one and you spit that out on the floor, too, and then asked for another one. Do you see how this does not make sense? Either eat your food or stop wasting it!

-Why do you have to sit in whatever chair I'm sitting in? We have three dining table chairs but you always try to push me out of the one I'm in so that you can plop your little butt on it. Thanks a lot, buddy.

-What were you dreaming about the other night when you giggled in your sleep? It sounded like a fun dream!

-Why do you find ears--particularly my ears--so comforting? Some kids have a cherished stuffed animal or a security blanket, but you like to hold my ears. When you are scared or tired or just feeling affectionate, you often grab my ears or shout, "Ear! Ear! Mommy ear!" if you can't reach them. At night, when my ears aren't available to you, I see you on the video monitor, clutching your own ears while you fall asleep.

-Sometimes, you lay face down on the floor, close your eyes and quietly wiggle your body back and forth for several minutes. Um, what are you doing? Is it some form of toddler meditation?

-Why do you have to touch everything???

Any insight into the above questions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Love,
Mom

School Escort

Dear Connor,

It seems like every time I hear about a heartbreaking missing child case, the child disappeared while he or she was walking to school, which has convinced me that I am going to take you to and from school every single day until you leave for college. 

Love,

Mom

Taking Care of Mommy

Dear Connor,

I'm the mommy and you're the kid, so I take care of you. But you took really good care of me today. When I was eating a bagel with peanut butter, I got some peanut butter on the corner of my mouth. You spotted it, said "uh-oh," got a tissue and wiped it away for me. Later in the day, I got a paper cut and put a Band-Aid over it. When you saw the Band-Aid on my finger, you gave it a little kiss. Thanks, sweetie!

Love,
Mom

New Words

Dear Connor,

Daddy and I have inadvertently taught you a couple bad words. One time when we were all in the car, another driver cut us off and honked so Daddy angrily growled, "F*** it." You heard him and now whenever we're in the car and you hear another car honk, you say the same thing in the same growling tone as Daddy did (I admit, it's funny. But it's a bad word so you shouldn't say it!).

The words I taught you are a little less offensive but still bad: shut up. Mochi was going nuts one day and barking like crazy at some kids playing behind our house so I yelled at him to shut up. So now when Mochi barks really loudly, you often yell at him, "Shuh up!" Oops.

Fortunately, you have learned a lot of good, useful words in the past month, too: race, mark, set, go (you say these when we race your toy cars), gen (again), bed, tub, kick, jook jook (Chinese for rice porridge), ayoo (where are you), ago (where did it go), cah-yo(avocado), cin-mun (cinnamon), treasure, top, story, winny (windy), raining, slippy (slippery), bummy (bumpy), fedder (feather), toys, acorn, aboose (caboose), open, buh-yah (peanut butter), ride, kick-it (cricket), farm, punkin (pumpkin), fire truck, I get it, sweater, giraffe, hippo, tar (guitar), honeydew, couch, neck, gone, fan fan (Chinese for rice), tiss-yoo (tissue), play, der it is (there it is), pink, shower, choong liang (Chinese for shower), puzzle, connor (crayon--I don't know why it sounds like your name when you say crayon), pick-ow (pillow), hold, grass and dinner. You also learned the word "crescent" today, which I think is pretty impressive!

Let's stick to the words in the last paragraph and not the ones in the first two, okay?

Love,
Mom

Daddy's Name

Dear Connor,

You hear me calling Daddy by his first name Alex all of the time and have recently started calling him "Ow-ex," too. You've been going up to him and saying, "Ow-ex! Ow-ex!" Daddy is not happy about this!

Love,
Mom