A Little Help

Dear Connor,

I mentioned in my last post that you do not like to follow rules. That is something that your teachers have complained to me about since you started nursery school. But they have also always said that you are a nice and helpful boy and you proved that again today when one of your classmates was trying to get something she could reach and your teacher told me that you asked her, completely unprompted, "Would you like me to get that for you?" I'm always proud of you for being thoughtful!

Love,
Mom

In Debt

Dear Connor,

In your classroom, you and your classmates have the opportunity to earn "Funny Money." Whenever you follow rules or do something nice, you earn Funny Money that you can spend on a toy or book in the class's Funny Money store. Whenever you don't follow rules, your teachers take some of your money away. Today, Daddy asked you--you who does not like to follow rules and instead do what you like to do--how much Funny Money you have. You sighed and said, "It's kind of hard to explain. I owe Funny Money." Oh my god.

Love,
Mom

Connor the Cannibal

Dear Connor,

Sometimes, you eat three dinners. You'll eat what I cooked and still be hungry, so I'll make you a cheese sandwich, but you'll still be hungry, so I'll give you cereal and a spoonful of peanut butter. Then you'll be adequately satisfied! I commented on this one day and said you've been eating like a teenager but things got lost in translation when you told your nanny, "I eat a lot of food. I'm a teenager eater." Haha!

Love,
Mom

Batting A Thousand

Dear Connor,

Today, you asked me how old I am and I told you that I am 35. You responded, "Oh, I thought you were in the 1000s."

Thanks.

Love,
Mom