Uncle Tony

Dear Connor,

Your Uncle Tony always loved the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. What's not to love? They are superheroes who fight crime, make wisecracks all of the time and crave pizza. And they aren't so different from Uncle Tony, who grew up on Pizza Hut, was always ready with a funny comment for everything and was a real-life superhero who made so many people's lives better just by being a part of them.

I met many of Uncle Tony's friends last week and all of them said the same thing: Tony made the world a better place. Whether he was joking around to cheer up a sad friend, encouraging another friend to pursue her dream job or just holding a girl's purse so she wouldn't lose it at a bar, he always looked out for others and lit up any room with his humor and positive attitude.

Uncle Tony was truly a superhero because he was strong enough to maintain that humor and positive attitude even when he was diagnosed with brain cancer not just once, but twice. When GongGong, PoiPoi and I wanted to crumple into a heap onto the floor, Uncle Tony was the one who made us laugh and lifted our spirits when we were the ones who should have been doing that for him. His strength never wavered during his countless treatments and surgeries and even when his entire body was literally failing him and he couldn't even speak, he still found the power to give the doctors an optimistic thumbs-up sign and playfully stick out his tongue at us.

I will never be able to process this loss, the fact that I will never hug my brother again or text him about our favorite shows or have lengthy conversations with him about how crazy our parents are. It is unreal and unfair that he was taken at such a young age when he had so much more to accomplish. And it truly breaks my heart that your memories of him will be fuzzy at best and that he will not be here to see you grow up. Uncle Tony was my baby brother and I do not know how I will make it through the rest of my life without him. I wish that you didn't have to go through the rest of your life without him. But if anything, Uncle Tony taught us all how to stay strong even in the darkest hours.

I miss Uncle Tony so unbearably much, but he will stay alive in our memories and I will talk about him all of the time so that you, MuiMui and DiDi will always remember what an amazing, special and undeniably super uncle you guys had.

Love,
Mom

Pilgrim Sighting

Dear Connor,

We walked past a group of Amish people today and when you saw their clothes and long beards, you said excitedly, "Mommy, look! Pilgrims!" I wanted to laugh but I think they heard you, so I also wanted to hide under a Plymouth rock. Eesh.

Love,
Mom

He's the Bomb

Dear Connor,

Funny questions you asked at the airport when we were traveling to Pittsburgh last week: "Mommy, what is that hole in the back of the airplane? Is that its tushee?"

Funny conversation you had with one of the flight attendants:

Flight attendant: How old are you?
You: I'm 6 years old. How old are you? 25?
Flight attendant: I wish I was 25. I'm 35.
You (calling out loudly because the flight attendant had walked to the front of the plane): MY MOM IS 35, TOO!

Not-so-funny exchange we had at the airport security gate when we were flying back home yesterday:

You: Why do they make us take off our shoes?
Me: They want to make sure there are no dangerous materials in our shoes.
You (loudly): What kind of dangerous materials? Like a bomb? A bomb, Mommy? Why would anyone put a bomb in their shoe? How could you fit a bomb in your shoe?
Me (in an exasperated whisper): Oh my god, Connor, stop saying 'bomb'!!"

Love,
Mom

Waiting and Waiting

Dear Connor,

Merry Christmas! I have to give you serious props because you don't normally have a lot of impulse control but you showed extreme restraint this morning when it came to opening your Christmas gifts. Unsurprisingly, you reeeeeally wanted your presents, so you came into my room at 4:30am this morning and asked if you could go downstairs and open them. I said it was too early and that you had to go back to bed. You came in again at 5:30am and 6:30am. I gave you the same answer both times. On the dot, you came in at 7:30am and I said everyone else was still sleeping and we had to wait for Daddy, MuiMui and DiDi to wake up so that we could open presents together. At 8am, everyone was still asleep and you--close to defeat--collapsed face-down on the edge of my bed, sighed the heaviest sigh ever and asked, "Why is everyone sleeping so long???" I was so proud of you for waiting so patiently without whining or making noise--and felt so bad for how torturous all that waiting must have been--that I told you that you could pick one present and open it while the others were still sleeping. You flew down the stairs and brought back the biggest gift with your name on it. And the look of joy on your face when you saw your new Paw Patrol toys--that's why we do what we do :-)

Merry Christmas, sweetheart!

Love,
Mom

A Picture for Mama

Dear Connor,

You came home from school today with a picture you had drawn and said, "I made this picture for you because you earned it for being the best mama. I love you and I love your smile the most. I also like that you have polite manners." You can bet that made me flash one of those smiles you love so much :-)

Love,
Mom

Rich Heart

Dear Connor,

We found two quarters on the floor when we were in Dunkin Donuts today and you were sooooo excited about them! You held onto those quarters tightly and proudly and whenever we saw someone we knew, you immediately told them about your find. You were actually really sweet when deciding what to do with the money. When we went to the grocery store, you asked if you could use the quarters to pay for our groceries. And when you were talking about your quarters with the crossing guard and she told you to save it for college, you said, "I'm going to save it to buy toys for my kids." :-)

Love,
Mom

Soup for Santa

Dear Connor,

Tonight, you suggested that instead of leaving cookies for Santa this year, we should leave him veggies because they are healthier and soup because it is so cold outside. When I said that was a good idea, you shouted up to the ceiling, "You hear that, Santa? We're going to give you soup!"**

Love,
Mom

**You shouted up to the ceiling/North Pole because I told you that Santa is always watching and can hear what you say, haha!