Beating Eggs

Dear Connor,

I made scrambled eggs this morning and when I explained to you that I was beating the eggs, you said, "You're beating the eggs? You're hitting them? That's not nice, Mommy. It's not nice to hit."

Love,
Mom

Early Riser

Dear Connor,

Please stop waking up at six in the morning. Daddy and I cannot function that early in the day. Thank you.

Love,
Mom

Soccer Star

Dear Connor,

Well, I am officially a soccer mom. Daddy and I signed you up for soccer classes and you had your first class today.

You were much more interested in running around the big open field like a chicken with its head cut off than paying attention to the coaches but I did manage to get you to participate in the drills and you had fun. However, you don't quite fully understand the rules of soccer yet. You understand that you have to kick the soccer balls into the goal. You understand that you can't use your hands to throw the ball into the goal. But you insisted on picking up the balls, carrying them to the edge of the net, dropping them and then kicking them into the goal. Correct, no, but more efficient, yes!

Love,
Mom

Silly Goose

Dear Connor,

This week's Connor funnies:

Me: You're a silly goose!

You: I'm not a goose, I'm a Connor!

Me to MuiMui: Do you want to try some food?

You: No, MuiMui too tiny. She can only have nai nai [Chinese for milk] from boobie!

You, after you finished a bowl of macaroni and cheese with broccoli that I had cooked for you: Your very good cooking, Mommy sir.

Love,

Mom

Teen Years Preview

Dear Connor,

We had this conversation today:

Me: Do you want to go to the park today?
You: No.
Me: Do you want to go to the playground today?
You: No.
Me: Do you want to go to the bookstore today?
You: No.
Me: What do you want to do today then?
You: Nothing.

You are only a toddler. You shouldn't be acting like a sullen teenager already!

Love,
Mom

Kiss My Butt

Dear Connor,

You said this to me today: "I fell down and hurt my butt. Can you kiss it, Mommy? Can you kiss my butt?" Uhh, no.

Love,
Mom

Funny Moments

Dear Connor,

Funny moment of the day #1: I got two mosquito bites on my foot this morning. When you saw them, you said, "I fix them," placed your palm over them for a few seconds and then said, "All better." My son, the divine healer!

Funny moment of the day #2: When you woke up from your afternoon nap, you said to me, "Mommy, my penis go up by itself. Can you fix it? Can you fix my penis?" Um, go talk to Daddy!

Love,
Mom